A lot of people think Punxsutawney Phil is cute, but if push came to shove, groundhogs CAN get aggressive if they feel threatened. (Like if you accuse them of subpar weather prognosticating? This year we’ll have six more weeks of winter are on the way.
A random poll asked the internet, “Which ‘holiday character’ would win if they all went into a free for all [brawl]?”
Nearly 4,000 people weighed in, and here are the results:
42% believe that Santa would come out on top. (That said, it’s unclear if he’d be allowed to have his legion of reindeer and army of elves at his side.)
25% say LOVE WINS, so Valentine’s Day Cupid would slay the competition.
14% say Leprechaun would tell his adversaries he’ll meet them outside, at the other end of the rainbow, where they will be destroyed.
11% say Punxsutawney Phil would gnaw-out the competition. (Day after day after day after day, if need be.) (???)
4% believe the Tooth Fairy and her magical powers would take everyone else down. (It’s unclear if any Baby Teeth would be used as weapons.)
3.5% believe the Easter Bunny has a violent, evil side, which would MAUL the rest of the holiday characters.
In the comments, someone said, “I’m stuck between Cupid and the Tooth Fairy, because teeth powers seem pretty badass.” (Wait. Why is the Tooth Fairy in this scrap in the first place? What “holiday” is that???)
Someone else said, “Is the leprechaun, the leprechaun from the hood?” That’s a reference to the “Leprechaun” movies. Never underestimate the Irish! Another joked, “The Easter Bunny is really big! He can definitely mess some [stuff] up!”
Are these the only options? Someone said, “Obviously, it’s the Great Pumpkin. Good grief!” Others have mentioned Uncle Sam for Independence Day, Tom Turkey for Thanksgiving, and “Father Time” for New Year’s.
Hm. Does 12-foot “Skelly” the Skeleton from Home Depot count as a mascot for Halloween? If so, Skelly has this in the bag. Trick or treat!
(r/Polls)
